Federation Parliament Ends Session

Federal District, GS (TST) – The Federation Parliament of the schnauzerlands adjourned its semi-annual session after adoption of the Federation budget and final approval of major government initiatives, including the multinational transportation system plans introduced last month.
Among other notable legislation adopted during the session:

• authorization for townships to merge into urban townships or metropolitan townships, based upon geographic contiguity and population destiny; Such consolidations would allow more flexibility and cost efficiencies in providing public services for law enforcement, education, utilities, and mass transit systems,


• an electronic transactions law that will authorize the use of electronic technology for business, financial, legal, and government transactions, including electronic signatures by individual citizens and business entities,


• expansion of national lotteries to fund undergraduate and graduate college educational programs, and funding of technology for primary and secondary schools at the township level, and


• standardized codes for construction of public facilities and buildings that might be used for emergency management activities.

The Federation Parliament will return to the capitol for its next session following township elections in late October. Many townships are expected to vote on consolidation proposals; while the number of township delegates to Parliament will remain unchanged, delegate district boundaries may be changed in some of the newly consolidated township districts to recognize legal requirements that delegate districts within a township have as close to equal populations as practicable.



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Edie's Ratters Return Home Disappointed

Edie City, SH (TST) – The Edie City Ratters returned home last night after the team was eliminated in the opening rounds of the IDU Football Tournament in Groot Gouda, after a controversial opening game marred by unexplained scoring disputes. The Ratters then lost their remaining two games in the opening round, and were eliminated after Wednesday’s games.

Angry fans have been returned to the schnauzerlands, especially the Ratters’ home city, loudly complaining about the “horrific” scoring disputes in the opening game. Notwithstanding the media reports in both Adam Island and the schnauzervolk nations concerning the outcome of the first match, the official results were flip-flopped. There have been numerous requests from attendees who were returning to Edie City asking the schnauzervolk league officials to investigate the situation. (Since the teams are privately owned and operated, the matter does not come under government jurisdiction.)

According to the Schnauzervolk League commissioner, "we will have to be convinced that the officiating will meet generally accepted standards of objectivity, neutrality, and skill before we will participate in future tournaments."




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Sports Teams Have a Building Boom

Schatzchen City, PS (TST)—Play Ball! Goal! Touchdown! Three-Pointer! These will be heard a lot more frequently throughout the schnauzerlands after professional sports leagues and local governments in many metropolitan areas throughout the schnauzerlands announced plans to construct sports and entertainment complex facilities. “We want to take advantage of the decisions by the Federation and national governments for improvements in transportation throughout the Federation, as well as play a significant role in enhancing tourism and recreation opportunities,” said Helmut von Black, mayor of Liebchen City, the oldest metropolitan city in the schnauzerlands. Teams from professional leagues for four different types of football, baseball, and basketball, as well as university-level teams plan to use the new facilities.

According to the plans, multi-purpose facilities for indoor and outdoor sports will be built, with professional teams adopting the various facilities as their home arenas. For example, many of the cities will include a shared outdoor stadium for baseball and Oz-Rules Football, a separate outdoor facility that can be used for tackle rule and soccer rule football, and an arena for basketball and indoor rule football. Many of the complexes will also include either a natatorium, or a track and field stadium that can be used for concerts and other events.

“Schnauzervolk are very sports-minded, competitive people. Having such a vast network of sports facilities in place will make it possible to attract world level sporting events, and make many schnauzerland locales a even more popular destination for residents and international visitors alike,” said Erick von Leader, mayor of Kinderlieb City, KL. The facilities are being paid without the use of government tax revenue, although land is being donated in the various cities involved, and some areas may need to construct mass transit, railway or limited highway access facilities in connection with a local project. Team and league owners have contributed funding and obtained private financing for the construction of the various multi-stadia projects.

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